How to Spot Liars

 

The world can be so much better without liars. How we wish we can see through a person and determine whether he/she is lying or not. Unfortunately, we can only rely on a person’s innate goodness and build trust gradually. If they are telling the truth, we could not ask for more. But what if they are not telling the truth?

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If they are not telling the truth, normally, we can only hope that they will see the errors of their ways. Liars are everywhere and we should all be wary of them. But it’s not easy to know when we’re being lied to. Some experts say that a liar is not capable to hold steady gaze but take Bernard Madoff for example. Madoff was the Ponzi scheme con man. He is known to establish steady and confident gaze as he defrauded his clients who trusted him with billions.

Good liars know how to cover up common signs of deceit so we should arm ourselves with knowledge on how to catch them. Keep in mind that even the skilful liars can be caught. Consider the following to spot liars before you become their next victim:

  • Ask for a very specific detail: When someone fabricates a lie, they tend to forget specific details. When you feel that that person is lying, you should ask for a very specific detail without implying too much. For example, you can ask how they travel for work and if they give a bus number – it can be verified easily.

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  • Observe when he/she is telling the truth: The first thing that you should do is establish a baseline. Police will usually ask the address of the suspect and from his/her reaction, establish the baseline. Once a baseline has been established, you can now ask open-ended questions, and from there, you can observe the changes in the person’s verbal and nonverbal behaviour.
  • Let them talk: In an effort to cover everything, liars tend to talk too much. Let them talk and even accept irrelevant details. Liars will give too much information (more than you requested) and in excess of details.

These signs can be pretty messed up if you do not know what to do or how to proceed. If you are having troubles determining such, you have to practice even more and learn. In this world, you have to think that people lie to gain something and if you are not quick about spotting them, you might end up losing everything to them.

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Tips on Becoming a Better Speaker

Speaking in front of the class or a business presentation is frightening let alone standing in front of hundreds of people. The extreme fear of public speaking is called glossophobia. In fact, glossophobia is the second most common fear not just here in Singapore but around the world.

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Overcoming glossophobia is hard but if we put our hearts to it, we will surely convey our words clearly and effectively. To overcome it, the first thing that you have to do is identify the symptoms. Symptoms include stuttering or stammering, hearing problems, freezing, excessive sweating, weak voice, dilated pupils, rapid heartbeat, dry mouth, shaking, nausea and rapid breathing.

Glossophobia holds us back from the possibilities. If we are good public speakers, we will surely sell our goods and services, showcase our expertise and even build connections to improve our network of potential clients. It does not end there because our words may be an inspiration to others. It would be such a waste if we do not speak a word.

You have to remember that getting past the fear of speaking in public is different from building and strengthening it as a skill. Becoming a better speaker will surely open doors. Here are some tips on becoming a better speaker:

• Know thy topic: In everything you do, it is important that you know your topic before delving deeper. Preparation will surely dispense irrelevant and nervous thoughts. Remember that there is no one in the room more knowledgeable than you.

• Submit to exercise: Few minutes before the presentation, you have to pause for a while, close your eyes and do deep breathing exercises. This exercise will surely ease tension leading you to a more relaxed state.

• Do not dread moments of silence: Many speakers see moments of silence as a negative thing. You have to think the other way. It is natural to fear moments of silence but take it as a positive thing. That means people are listening intently on you and that you have nothing to fear.

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• Practice: Before the actual event, you need to practice until you uttered the right words. Other people even practice in front of the mirror while some watch recordings of their speeches and critique the performance.

• Join classes: If you are convinced that speaking publicly can advance your career, it is time that you seek the help of professionals. Finding a good coach or mentor is easy.
Remember that even the most successful speakers had speaking anxieties at first. Practice will make things better.

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